Post-Challahism

On fasting

Tema — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 16:51:47 +0000

Today is Tisha B’av, and, like Jews all over the world, I am fasting. This year’s fast is a hard one — it began last night at 8:32pm, and will end tonight at 9:19pm. We fast by abstaining from food, naturally, but also from drinking. No morning coffee, no sip of water when your mouth gets dry, no orange juice as a pick-me-up in the afternoon, nothing.

Right now, the caffeine withdrawal is the hardest. But, all in all, I am fasting alright. I’m lightheaded. I’m woozy. I’m cold. My limbs are kind of tingly. I’d be much happier asleep. But, I feel everything about my body right now, and I feel all the ways in which my daily intake satiates me and sustains me. Even my morning coffee.

What is hard, though, and what drove me to wrote this blog post today, is the difficulty of feeling the commemoration of Tisha B’av. Yes, I feel my body, and I feel the lack of food and water. But do I feel grief at these symbols of Jewish identity? I must admit, I don’t. Of course, there is the natural interpretation: when the Temple is restored, and we are no longer in diaspora, we will no longer be sitting at our desks on a work day, feeling woozy and weak, trying to focus on our daily tasks. Fair game. But, and without getting to philosophical here, what if this side of it is outside of my own personal beliefs?

Not to dwell on that. The point is: I am fasting, along with Jews the world over, but I do not feel myself mourning the loss of the Temple, and the other calamities that our community’s founding myths tell us befell the Jews on this day. So the question becomes, in a sense, why am I fasting?

It strikes me as problematic, almost, that in my head is a little chorus of ”you can do it!” as if I am only fasting to prove to myself that I can. It strikes me as problematic that every physical discomfort I bear today feels like a little triumph. It strikes me as problematic that I am doing it because other Jews are doing it too. But, at the same time, I wonder if this is a little bit of what this day is about: a purposeful act of engaging in a deprivation of sustenance, along with other members of my community, because I can. Because even if I don’t acutely feel the loss of the Temple, I am feeling a loss of something. You know what I mean?

All the while, my stomach is asking me, what’s for dinner?

Filed under: Judaism, Observance, Religion

Cheating

Tema — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:50:24 +0000

I have a confession to make. I have been avoiding this blog like the plague because I have been cheating. Cheating on eating the way I should, for myself.

You see, for a long time, I thought that I was celiac, despite the negative blood test. But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I just had a gluten intolerance, and a pretty bad one at that. The problem was, while not being celiac is certainly comforting, it also opened the door to an attitude of, “well, I shouldn’t, but I will anyway.” That attitude has been my undoing.

While I still eat gluten free at home, I have been sneaking treats more and more. At first it was a little bit of this, a little bit of that at a party. Then it was a mini-donut at Starbucks. Eventually it was Chinese dumplings on Christmas Eve. Each time, I’d feel sick after, but hey, it was just temporary, right?

So, here I am. Crawling back to my blog, and to what I know is good for me. This blog is going to be my way of being accountable — to my readers and to myself.

Confession hour over. Gluten-free time – here we go.

Filed under: Adjusting to the Gluten-Free Life, Confessions, Goodbye Gluten

Gluten-Free week at the Kitchn!!!

Tema — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 15:58:45 +0000

Okay. So, it’s been pointed out to me that I’ve been neglecting this blog. So, I’m going to write quickly just to let you all know that one of my favourite websites, The Kitchn, is holding a gluten-free week! So, head on over there and check it out.

And, as for me, I will write something. Soon. I promise.

Filed under: Other Sites

I’m a slacker

Tema — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 22:40:07 +0000

It’s December, and even for a nice Jewish girl like me (cue laughter), time can slip away pretty quickly. Between work parties, and friends’ parties, and my own parties, it has been a busy three weeks. A busy three weeks filled with cooking that I haven’t had the time to blog about. I’m sorry. I am a terrible blogger. I should have confessed that right upfront.

This blog is a teaser. It is also a reminder to myself of all the things I have to tell you about. Like:

- cooking dinner for 60 for the Makom Hanukkah dinner (gluten free and vegan)

- destroying a batch of cupcakes to a point they were not even a little bit edible (my first ever baking catastrophe)

- replacing said cupcakes with a table full of baked goods for a “Lazy Sunday” get-together

- cooking a gingerbread cake that got such rave reviews that one of my friends claimed she would never eat a gingerbread cake with wheat ever again

I also want to tell you about my love affair with corn pasta, and my delicious gluten-free dinner with colleagues at Big Mamma’s Boy (that included GARLIC BREAD!!!).

And, on Thursday, I am getting my very first delivery from Front Door Organics, so there will be a post about that.

So, since I have a four-day weekend next week (yay statutory holidays), I will go on blog-writing lockdown. And I will blog. And I will be caught up. And I will declare my New Year’s resolution to be that I will blog regularly… I promise.

Filed under: Uncategorized

AWOL

Tema — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 16:29:04 +0000

Yes. It’s been not much over three weeks and already I’ve gone AWOL. I have a good excuse, I swear. It involves latkes, and lots of them, and very little sleep.

Blog post coming. I promise.

Filed under: Uncategorized

I have become an insecure baker…

Tema — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 16:11:16 +0000

The funny thing about starting a cooking blog is that I really feel the need to use these initial postings to “introduce” myself, as it were. Who I am, my relationship to my food, what I like, etc. So, forgive me if these are a little less food-y and a little more Tema-y. I promise I’ll get into the food (like today, for example, there is even a recipe!).

So. Me. By way of introduction:

I love to bake, but I have become an insecure baker.

Baking used to be my stress release. In my first year of grad school, when the work was feeling a little bit too much, I would escape into my kitchen (a beautiful kitchen, I might add, even if very short on counter space) and throw something together. Scones, muffins, cookies, loaves of bread. When I moved overseas, I didn’t have a proper oven — just a countertop convection deal. But even still, I baked. My apartment was constantly filled with the aroma of apple crumble, scones, or whatever other item I could prepare without proper baking tools. When I moved back home, I hosted dinner parties where I always relished the chance to bake something — apple cake, cheesecake, chocolate cake… the list goes on.

I knew the dough. I could feel when my scones were brought together enough, when my muffins were fluffy. I never quite got the hang of chocolate cake, but apple cake – that was another story. Baking was relaxing. The feeling of the dough on my hands, the kneading, the mixing, the measuring. Playing with recipes, all that.

And then, bam. Gluten was gone. And baking was a whole different realm. All of a sudden, I couldn’t feel my way through preparing anything. And I think I panicked. Since discovering that I can’t eat gluten, I can count the number of things I’ve baked on one hand, and let’s just say that four of the five fingers were cookies (i.e., impossible to screw up).

But, as any of you who don’t eat gluten know, the availability of good store-bought gluten-free treats is lacking, and what is around and good is very, very, very expensive (hello, $8 for four chocolate cupcakes!). So, I decided it was time to give myself a proverbial kick in the pants. It was time to get baking again. And last night, bake I did. And the results were delicious. Scones. My first ever gluten-free.

The process, though, was trying. Honestly, unlike with the scones I had made in the past, I had no idea whether these were going to turn out until they were out of the oven and cooled. It didn’t help that I goofed up on my shopping list (I didn’t have eggs!) and that I’m not sure whether my nutmeg was nutmeg or allspice (I think it was allspice — but my stuffed nose isn’t helping me to figure out for once and for all)… And it didn’t help that I didn’t leave myself enough time to bring my ingredients (flour, etc.) to room temperature. But, I threw myself in there and I did it anyway — substituting as I went.

For most of the time it didn’t feel like the dough was going to come together. I flirted with the idea of adding more liquid, but then I remembered that a good scone is dry and flakey and not wet and cakey (ooh accidentaly rhyme!), and so I just kept trying to bring it together. In the end, it was still fairly crumbly, so I just took out the dough in sections and piled it onto the baking sheet, trying to make it hold together as I patted it down to cut it. And it did. Thankfully.

I called my mom while they were in the oven. I was discouraged. Truly, I did not know whether they were going to turn out. And then I decided that anxiety about it all was not the way to go. If they didn’t come out, I’d think about it, figure out the kinks, and improve for next time.

But they did. And so rather than taking stock of my errors, I attempt to retrace my successes: what did the dough feel like to the touch before it went into the oven? What did it look like? How many crumbs were left, unincorporated, in the bottom of the mixing bowl? Did I substitute for eggs correctly? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had started to get a feel for the recipe. And the more I felt like I had a feel for it, the more my confidence returned.

In the end, I am still an insecure baker. One gluten-free success does not a gluten-free baker make. But, I learned, gluten-free baking is not that scary. I feel envigorated and I’m tempted to go home and try another recipe tonight. And maybe I will.

(I apologize for the lack of pictures — my camera is taking really really bad images that are completely oversaturated and that make my scones look awful… soon soon I will get it figure out)

Gluten-Free Butternut Scones (adapted from the Gluten-Free Goddess)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or a silicone baking liner.

Whisk together the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl:

1 cup sorghum flour (I used Bob’s Red Mill brand)
1/2 cup almond flour (I used JK Gourmet brand)
1/2 cup tapioca starch (again, Bob’s Red Mill)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
4 tablespoons brown sugar (I was out of demarara so I used brown sugar crystals, and all was fine)
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Add in and mix till combined (I always mix scone dough by hand at this stage until it comes together — but be warned — it’s really very sticky):

1/2 cup butternut squash puree — fresh (see below for instructions), or from a can
1/4 cup cream cheese (I used Western Creamery)
2 teaspoons real vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon lime juice
2 Tbsp organic 1% milk, combined with 2 Tbsp ground flax seeds (leave to sit for approx. 3 minutes)

Mix just until the scone dough is workable. Scoop out the dough and plop it onto the center of your prepared cookie sheet. Using wet palms, smooth and flatten the dough into an 8-9 inch circle.

Brush the top with a little milk and sprinkle with some raw sugar.

Score the dough into eight wedges, using a sharp knife. Cut through and slice the dough down to the bottom. Use a spatula to pull the pieces apart.

Bake in the center of the preheated oven for about 15 to 20 minutes or so, until the scones are golden and firm.
Makes eight scones.

As with all gf items, these keep best frozen and should be thawed out before you need them and then toasted.

To roast butternut squash:

Clean the squash well — I use a bit of NatureClean Fruit & Veggie Spray Wash and a potato brush to really get the dirt off — my squash came from my organic CSA, so it had a fair bit of dirt on its skin.

Cut in half with a sharp knife (I use my butcher knife, very carefully). Scoop out the seeds (I love to do this part by hand, and bonus! You can save them and roast them later). Clean out the stringy bits with a melon baller.

Put the squash skin-up in a roasting dish and fill up about halfway with water.

Roast in an oven at about 450 degrees F for 45 minutes, or until the squash is soft and can be scooped out.

Cool and then puree in a blender of food processor.

Refrigerate until ready to use.

Filed under: Adjusting to the Gluten-Free Life, Baking, Recipe Tagged: adjusting, breakfast, recipe

So, here we are…

Tema — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 06:00:37 +0000

So, here we are. You, me, and my kitchen. No gluten here anymore.

I guess it’s time for me to grab a mixing bowl and dive in. Headfirst? Stomach first? Well…

I owe it to gluten to say a quick farewell. Well, goodbye, gluten. I’ll miss you. Your departure from my life is going to make things way more complicated. But, an adventure. And I’m ready for it.

Filed under: Goodbye Gluten Tagged: gluten, sentimentality